On the topic of children in the Church can be a lot to say. I would like to consider this question: that can be done, so after staying at services for children were warm impressions, and parents do not feel exhausted?
Everyone knows, what power have the impression of childhood. If the kid will understand from childhood, the temple - it's good, cozy and inseparably connected with family life, then the formation of his personality it will have a beneficial effect.
Even with one child mother is difficult to do so in the temple, and to the child, and others were warm impressions. Features children's psyche are, that the child can not be a long time to be focused on one thing. Children are showing discontent, when they are forced to constantly restrain himself. Whims, as a result, and prevent others, and parents. All difficult to focus on service, hence the nervous mom, and strained parishioners. Children themselves tired. Children are not just capricious. Often, This weariness. It is much easier to prevent bad behavior, rather than deal with them have in fact.
I think, from large families have a lot to learn in this issue.
Often the mother of many children in the temple looks like: baby in her arms, and an armful of children's outerwear, free finger pulls someone's hat, holds baby leg fleeing, at the same time respond to the children's weight problems and reminds all, that you need to speak in a whisper. Where at the time dad? He serves or, or sings, or, too, it is with a bunch of things and tired eyes. If the rector of the parish will take care of, so that parents can solve everyday problems (the availability of space, where you can hang garments, where to put grudnichka etc.) , This will greatly facilitate the participation of parents and help to focus on the main.
Considering that, that children of different ages with different needs and different limit attention, in front of a large mother is a choice: focus on the young and to get everyone in the temple only to Communion, lead to the beginning of the service, and to suffer disgruntled parishioners views on adscititious additional noise, or come up with something, which will be present at the service all together, and at the same time will not interfere with parishioners.
How to solve the problem of stay in the temple with their children, I asked the large mums.
Natalia Parkhomchuk - Mama 4 children:
"When the children were melenkie, our father served as a deacon at St. Anastasievsko convent here in Zhitomir. I had to organize itself in the service of children. Our three sons are grown up boys, sung in the bishop's choir, and the youngest is now 9 years. I do not remember, so that I had something especially difficult with kids in the temple. We came to the reading of the Gospel, after which could come to resemble the corridor, there was audible Service. In the Eucharistic canon we made our way to the solea, children all is well seen. I explained to them in a whisper moments of worship, eg: while singing "Hosanna in the highest heavens", I commented on the meaning and history. Focus children on petitions during the litany and said,, eg: "Father asked, that there was no war. You do not want, to a war? Let's ask God, "etc.. So in turn whisper to communicate with the kids.
I never send their children to classes in Sunday school during worship. It seems to me wrong to bring their children only to Communion. Children need to participate in the service.
Once there was, and this experience: Mother tried to do right at the temple for children's play corner. Soon it was necessary to abandon the idea, tk. children behave, a playground, drowning out the service.
Very important is the unceasing prayer of the mother of the children. Even in the transition to adulthood with the sons of special problems did not arise, in fact participate in the Church's life - a way of life. If the mother carefully prays and knows service, then the children will inherit it, and behavioral problems of children in the church does not arise ".
Love Lysenko - Mama 3 children:
"I like to walk with the children in Ioninsky, where is the regent and husband. There are dynamics, thanks to which the service is audible on the street. I periodically younger then I go to the temple, then leave, if you see, that the child is tired. The older daughter decide, where they are better. Anyway, we hear all, what is happening at work and there is no problem ".
Victoria Mohylnaya - Mama 8 children:
"Today, the priests, in my opinion, faced with a very difficult situation: when they, to whom the Savior asked not to hinder come to Him – ʙuzjat, hysteria, or laughing during the service, distracting others from trying to focus on prayer. Each parish finds its, available to him, Output in this situation. Also, very much depends on the personality of the abbot of the temple. There are priests, who are touched by baby talk during the Cherubic and allow kids to move freely around the temple, there are such, that very painfully violation of silence during the service, be it adults or kids. Since my husband is a second category of clergy, in our parish, even the flies are afraid to fly into the temple at the time of the Liturgy. AND, whether by way of folk wisdom, "what pops, is this coming ", whether by fluke, large families we - the majority. Older children altarnichayut or sing in the choir, Kids involved in Sunday school on the ground floor and come closer to Communion, for moms with strollers - service broadcast street speakers. Sometimes you just wonder, both the altar and the choir "stretched" and take into their fold all comers. In this way, we try together to recreate the atmosphere of the temple, where nothing distracts a person from concentrating on the Main. Admittedly, it is not easy, but well worth it. We try not to forget, that "My house, It shall be called the house of prayer " (by mark. 11) Modern inhabitant metropolis incredibly difficult to stay in their hectic, hear the silence, interrupt scrolling chaotic thoughts and seek to Heaven. I think, if at this time lying on the floor next to someone's child, and, even if it quietly draws pencils or stacks Designer, it is not right. I have great respect for priests, that in spite of the fatigue and emotional burnout, find strength and organize a variety of activities for young parishioners. But Liturgy - "there is a treasure trove, the true source of our children to have carried this understanding through his life. But how do they come to it, if from childhood accustomed to walking in the temple in the playground, waiting for Communion? Or painting the funny pictures on the mat, near the altar, during the Eucharistic canon? It can be said, with mother's milk, they learn more, "Parallel" to find the service. We just think, that they have little understanding. What are Christians to grow a "comfortable" generation? I do not know, so do not stop to question. But still, I've got one more example of life, clearly showing - the best. I was honored to observe the maturation of a pious family of many children, which to this day, It is my salvation "lighthouse" in the stormy sea of life. But here I have a reservation, the head of this family - hereditary priest in the sixth generation. Father with my mother waited for grandchildren, and three of his sons in the dignity. What immediately catches the eye, so this is, that all children have grown sincere believers. The lucky, religious people. Grew at a temple, barely learned to walk - helped in the altar, barely learned to talk - they sang and recited in the choir. I secretly condemn their parents for the proverbial "solid food" in the infant diet, but happy to admit defeat. In my opinion, the secret of their educational success is somewhat different things, and it is simple - apple does not fall far from the tree. Personal example of mom and dad, the, they pray in the mornings and evenings, both fasted, like getting ready for Communion, with reverence to all concerned, played a major, crucial role. And looking at them, I understand, that before, than guessing how to teach your son or daughter faith, it is necessary to truly votserkovit themselves ".
Maria Dermenzhi - Mama 3 children:
"When the children were babies, sorely missed the presence of the temple in a special children's room, where you can change clothes baby, feed (especially if the child is at GW), because the road plus service take a lot of time and these need necessarily occur. In cold weather, there's the question of outerwear, because in the warm overalls and cap child warm, keep everything in the hands of my mother, too inconvenient, and if there are other children. From prose, but no less important issues, a very important presence in the temple or in the zone of the normal reach of clean toilets. After all, children are children, sometimes the desire to visit this place appears in the most unexpected moments.
At older ages,, 4-6 years, I was very rescued Sunday school for the little ones, where children do different crafts, prepared with age-appropriate information about the holiday and came to the service of the Eucharistic canon. I think, that's much better, nuditsya than in the service of pranks or near the temple. And mom can more intently for some time to pray, even in the presence of a small baby in her arms (as I have).. In my experience, the most difficult, что приходится испытывать маме с детьми в храме – это недружелюбное отношение со стороны прихожан, who often seek to directly worship should tell her mother how her children to behave, what they should be dressed, which doctor you need to go with the child (Yes, Sometimes it happens!). Large families and mom so hard life, it tolerates pressure and attention in the clinic, school, garden. But when in the temple she meets with similar, it becomes doubly frustrating ".
Eugenia Chernomorets - Mama 4 children:
"When the children were very young, almost all the service we were on the street. They came only to Communion. Then I took the children by drawing directly in the temple. Good, when there is a porch and there you can walk with children, Look at the painting. In the Eucharistic canon, we try to be careful. I taught them to pray "on the fingers": I remember my mother, dad, family and for each clamping fingers. It took them, and they were all quietly Canon. Now three senior sing in the choir in the church at the cancer center, and employment in the service of the question is removed. Since we love to watch the younger children's books, that on the shelves in the temple. We have a few large families. After serving on duty parents prepare children complete meal, then classes at Sunday school. The children talk with the father - of. Eugene Myaleshka, and then choose the classes for the soul: who sings, who does handicraft crafts, those involved in Scouting. Children after the temple did not want to leave. Father jokes, that soon we will have for our children to build a hostel there ".
Ekaterina Morozova - Mama 3 children:
"When the daughter was little, I explained to the boys, that we can not go to the temple. Then, standing on the street, perceived service through the speakers. Now the children are grown. We are in the temple the whole service. Senior monitors the candlestick, younger or next to me, Or rassmatryvayut booklets, which we have specifically for children are on the bookshelf. the main thing, to children like in the temple ".
In recent years, many rectors of churches began to think about, how to help the, who "saved by childbearing" and at the same time not to disturb the reverent worship. Personally, I have, the mother of three sons, there is a different experience. Today, urban churches I have ceased to feel with children, as a leper, who is forced to avoid human society and wander along the margins. There is a choice. We try not to bring many children to fuss parishes, where it is not usual. In the summer, living in a country house, often it is necessary to deprive the entire family service on Sunday, tk. there are too many obstacles, long knocks us all out of inner balance.
In Kiev, we live next to the Holy Trinity St Jonah Monastery. Take care there is not only a temple blagoukrashenii, but also about, so that families with children were comfortable. The cathedral has a chapel behind a glass partition, where almost hear the voices of children, but there, through loudspeakers, audible service. There parents can undress children, clothes hang on hooks under the windows, like them, plant and even to draw. Also during the service in a separate room teachers spend Sunday school, children organized lead only for Communion. In the temple there are novices, who can tell the bewildered mother, where it is better to pass, that all was well. There are also speakers on the street. Mom may be the children on the street near the temple, prayerfully participating in the service, and the children are engaged in, they tend to. Abbot - Bishop Jonah - often asks parents not to leave children unattended, tk. they interfere with the parishioners to pray. And this is true. All conditions, to each other not to interfere. You just need to be responsible and be sensitive to others.
Not only in Ioninsky monatsyre, but also in many other churches have a separate room, where children during the Liturgy of the teachers involved, and parents quietly praying in the temple. Children organized lead only to Communion. To many it is suitable. Based on personal experience, I tell, we do not fit. My boys do not wish to be without a mother. None of my child never agreed to play even just in the next room. They anxiously without a mother. And I anxiously, that they do not hear the service. My personal opinion – very important, the child saw and understood, that the Liturgy and Communion – it is life itself, whose parents live, and the child is allowed to live these moments with their parents.
Ideal for families with toddlers, preschool children coming to the Children's Development Academy, or simply - in the Orthodox kindergarten. There is a separate room, where children can undress, also there is a toilet and a washstand. A separate room with toys and books. In the temple there are highchairs, low candlesticks, low lectern. Children themselves can be put to the icon on the lectern, light a candle. When we go to this parish, We try to sensitively observe the child and in time to decide, when you can stay in the temple, and when to go to the game room. We try to save strength for the children of the Eucharistic canon. In a separate room after the service of children and parents waiting for a common meal and chat. On the street there is a playground, where the children after the service may be "let off steam".
There are parishes, Just where in the church have a children's corner with books, tables for drawing, toys. whether it interferes with the parishioners and priest, I asked about. Oleg Melnychuk, who introduced this practice in his parish.
Archpriest Oleg Melnychuk - Rector of the Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, More known as the "Dome", and Dad 3 children.
"The biggest problem is the Church - a formality, Only when children bring to Communion. Wringing his hands and feet baby, - He turns blue, - Push in lzhitsu mouth with the body of Christ, parents and go home happy, that everything is done according to the Orthodox – This profanatsyya. Necessary, that the child was waiting for Communion, and this is important, to the service he felt naturally. Playing for a young child has a great developmental and educational value. Therefore, we decided to organize a play area right in our church. It justified itself. At first we were 3 families with young children, and now - 30. Children is our future. Christ spoke about, not to forbid the children to come to Him. We have since instituted, that participates in the liturgy the whole family. After all, the family - is a small church. With many children, which now come in our temple, we know even before their birth. After all, before I was in the temple at the Kiev hospital № 1, where he was rector from 2001 until recently,. Zahozhanami of this temple were entirely pregnant women. Now they – our parishioners under the Dome. It is an organic continuation of the, I started back in the hospital. Important, that children grow up in the Church, in God. And if someone prevented the children in the temple, let him seek their parishes. The man the right to choose…»
No matter how we tried to "optimize" trips to the service of children, still need to understand, Mom will not be able to pray quietly. Children with children. The mother special service. Priests can create conditions for, to be able to take children, and the congregation can help only one - not to attack, give peace to this family.
Each family has its own experience in the field of introducing them to the temple. Do not copy any one option. Time will pass, children grow up and be held in this life, then manifest inaccuracy or loyalty to the selected options. In the meantime, we just try to introduce children to the life of the church. I'm sure, that love for children - the surest guide for any choice.
Catherine Dyatlova
